The semester is finished; I have one exam left to go. I am both thrilled and destroyed by this thought. Mentally I am ready to leave Lethbridge, especially after today’s snow, and yet I find it hard to think about. I love it here, the town, the school, the people; it’s all such a part of me. All good things have an end though. I await my return to you, my windy city, with elation and trepidation.
There is another ending right now as well, an end of words. I’m not going to continue this blog after this. I know that I have had a few dedicated friends that have kept up and I offer my greatest thanks. I started out with such grand ambitions and quickly lost them. Am I disappointed, yes, but my one main goal was to see how I grew and in a way that goal has been accomplished.
Well perhaps it’s not growth as much as realization, but close enough. The thing is this isn’t me. Not the writer of course but the writing. I am not a blogger, it’s just not in the way I think and create. Whenever I sat down to write a blog a small doom cloud would descend upon me and I would just be frustrated and angry with the whole thing. I should have known this from the start; I mean hell I suck at Facebook.
Without a doubt I am a physical person, and no I don’t mean touchy feely, but when I write I need a pen and paper, when I talk I need a body to respond to. Something about the presence of them brings out a more engaged part of me. I don’t write because I had a train of thought or an idea, I write because there is an empty piece of paper. I don’t talk to someone because I can but because their physical presence and body language moves me to connect. I love to live in the absurdity of my actions and thoughts, and blogging kills that for me. Blogging requires some fore thought and planning, things I am not the best at.
The big question is will I blog again. Perhaps one day when either I or the blog format changes enough to allow it. Maybe I will when I feel like I have something to share. But for the time being this is a fair well to the blogging world. It has been okay, we had our ups and downs, fights and reconciliations but it is best if we took some time apart Madame tumblr.